What?

by alexia
(u.k)

What if they find out?
That I ain’t really
Who I seem to be

“What if u slip up?”
Say’s the voice
In my head

“What if I slip up?”
I repeat “I ain’t gonna to
I’ve had to much practice”

“What? Practice at what?”
It asks, I just close my eyes
Give a sad smile & reply

“What? U ask what.
It’s at pretending,
Pretending my feelings”…

“What else u trailed off,
What else do u pretend at?”
I blink back the tears

“What else than everything
I pretend what I see & feel
Ain’t even true”

“What as in…”
It asks& I reply
“Yes as in I’m just…”

“What? You’re just what”
“A fake” I whisper almost crying now
But only just holding back the tears.

“What? Speak up girl”
It says like a strict teacher
Telling you off

“What if I went down?
Down to the kitchen
& took a knife”

“What would happen then?
Would they care?”
I smile that same sad smile again

“What am I saying?
Of course they won’t
No one will”

“What do I do?”
I ask out of sheer frustration
While choking back the tears

“What should I do?”
Says the voice
Echoing me

“What you don’t
Understand there again
Why would you”

“What understand what?”
Asked the voice
Like a curious child

“What I wish for”
I say darkly & with that
I slit my throat







Poem by lil emo hell angel