little thoughts...to my death

by Angel Contreras
(San Antonio,TX)

have you ever felt like everyone around you isn't real?
do your parents make a little mistake seem like a big deal?
well thats only the shell of my life.
most of the time i feel lament from the world, like i don't belong here.
i wish i could just fade away.
but why must god make me stay?
a tortured life i live, is just something i've been use to for a long time.
why is cutting such a big crime?
its not like i'm hurting anyone, but myself.
what do people know about my life!?
NOTHING!!! thats what.
no one can judge me for who i am. i may not be who i want to be, but this is just what i have to live with.
it maybe agonizing and a great torture to my heart.
but who says i even have one?....
it feels like i don't....but only cause its been broken so many times..
all the people promising me it will work out... they all lied to me!!!
my life has not gotten better...
how much shall i suffer?...
i cant take this heart break any longer.
my suicidal tendencies are only getting stronger and stronger.
it wont be long before i take my miserable last breath away.
the day i die shall be my time of envious freedom.
something i've long wished for....